interrupter.

So, technically I'm no longer in France. In fact, I've been back in the States starting July 8th...feels to be about a week ago, but probably closer to two. However, I still have a lot to say regarding France, well, really Paris that of course I meant to blog about earlier and of course, I haven't. Typical me. Basically the next posts will be lacking in the authenticity that living in Paris and writing about it has given the previous ones, however, I figured while said thoughts are still buzzing about within my brain, it'd be good to write them down.

Amour, Délice, Orgue

Amour, Délice, Orgue: these three words showcase French grammar at its best. One rule comes with ten exceptions. These are the only three words in the French language that are masculine in the singular form and feminine in the plural.

the hardest part about living abroad...

So, I’ve been putting off writing this post all semester because I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it justice. I’m not entirely certain how to put this into words that will allow someone who has not studied abroad to understand what studying abroad or living abroad really means. So bare with me…

The hardest part about living abroad…
No, it’s not that dinner collides with my usual bedtime, nor is it the fact that after four months I still need to carry around a map, it’s not even the fact that public restroom use will cost you as much as a coffee, rather it’s this word, this word that’s been floating around in and out of class all semester long and has always had a bit of a shady meaning. The word in question is ideology. According to dictionary.com ideology is “the body of doctrine, myth, belief… that guides an individual, social movement, institution, class, or large group”. Ideology creeps into the way people think without their knowledge of a. the fact that it’s there, b. the way in which it attached itself, and c. exactly how it is influencing their thought processes. There are times when ideology gets conflated with phrases such as “differences in social customs” or “cultural barriers”. But I feel that phrases like that don’t really address the issue. “Cultural barriers” make me think of differences you can adapt to – such as the consumption of bread with EVERYTHING (how are French women so thin?). But ideology takes a longer time to notice and even longer to adapt to – it is much more thickly veiled than the fact that oh, for example Parisians seem to value their dogs more than their children.

Anyway, as someone living abroad not only do you not fit in, but you can’t fit in. Why? Because you can’t acquire years of “the common knowledge of a typical French twenty-year-old” in several months…and so you, or in this case I, notice ideology. I mean, think of what makes you whatever nationality you are – it’s an incredible amount of knowledge. And not the kind you can memorize either. What contributes to the “communal experience” of a 20-year-old living in America in 2010? Anything from watching Rugrats in the nineties to stereotyping the French as smelly cowards to enjoying receiving an allowance. And not having this “communal” knowledge of another culture makes it very difficult for you to understand this culture. If you live around liberals no doubt you’ll hear “just keep an open mind” but it’s not that easy. Because to accept social differences or better yet, to not get angered by seemingly annoying French things, you have to understand them, and by that I mean, understand from where they are coming.

So, to turn this into a lengthy example that will hopefully explain things more clearly than my theoretical nonsense…

…when someone compliments me, I say “thank you”, when someone sneezes I say, “Bless you!” when was I ever taught these responses? I imagine I had to be. But whether explicitly or implicitly the fact is, I picked up these “habits” and now they are instinctual. But in France they are instinctual only to me. Saying “thank you” to a compliment is pretentious-sounding in French. Instead of the American thought behind “thank you” – such as… “Thank you, I’m glad you like it!” it’s “Thank you, I know it’s awesome”. So despite the fact that the word “thank you” in French will not give you any problems, it’s the meaning that’ll get you. And I can’t quite tell you why the French don’t say “bless you” – maybe because they are very good at being laïque (google it!) on a daily basis and maybe it’s because they live in an urban space where that’s just not done…but the fact is it’s this meaning between words that takes a long time to pick up. In the end, you’re speaking the same language, but understanding it in a completely different way. And of course that makes perfect sense because you’ve been taught through culture the way your society interprets that word. So when it comes to using the same word in a different culture, you’re at a loss. And though this is all nice and dandy, the problem is realizing that word has a meaning different from the one you attribute to it. It’s realizing that not just what you think, but the way you think is heavily influenced by the culture you’re surrounded by.

Once you notice this, you have a choice. You can either attempt to assimilate slightly into the French culture and say nothing at all when someone sneezes, or you can decide that as an American you have every right to say “bless you!” when the need arises.